Red Wine Red Velvet Cake

Blogger’s block.

It’s a thing.

I’ve been sitting on this cake for two weeks because I can’t think of anything interesting to tell y’all. I mean, the cake is interesting. Obviously. But I also operate under the delusion that y’all come here to read about Hannah’s and my crazy tics and embarrassing stories too.

And I can’t think of one for you!!

Ugh.

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Seriously. All I can think to tell you about is 1) my deep, deep desire to be Beyonce or 2) just how much I love Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights.

Neither is very groundbreaking. Neither is all that interesting. (Though, both are pretty much all-consuming at this point. 1) I have a calendar alert for tomorrow to remind me to buy Beyonce tickets for Hannah and me. It’s in ALL CAPS. 2) I didn’t leave my apartment yesterday until I left to get pizza at 8pm because I spent the entire day in my bed watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix. …hi, obsessive personality.)

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…I recently bought some red jeans? Is that something I should tell you about? (I’m super into them, if you’re wondering. They’re raspberry-colored (according to the seller). They’re kind of awesome).

Also, on Thursday I decided I was going to change the way I write my capital Gs. It’s a big decision, but I feel really good about it.

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Unfortunately, my dark cocoa power overpowered the redness of the wine. So use regular cocoa powder to get the red velvet effect.

How about how I just spent thirty minutes looking through teen lit on Amazon so that I have something to read while I get my tires rotated and oil changed? (Will be my second time reading a book entitled Fallen. Can’t express the pride I feel for my choices).

See my dilemma here? I guess I need to do things other than sit in my bed and watch TV if I wanna be able to be write things you want to read. What a revolutionary idea!

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In an attempt to apologize for my selfish behavior, I give you this cake. Luckily, it’s kind of perfect for V-Day. It’s boozy and it’s naturally red. What more could you ask for?!

Red Wine Red Velvet Cake

Makes one 3-layer, 9″ cake

Ingredients

Cake
16 tbsp unsalted butter, room temp
2 3/4 cups flour
2 cups dark brown sugar, packed
2/3 cup sugar
4 eggs, room temp
2 cups red wine (whatever your heart desires)
2 tsp vanilla
1 1/3 cups cocoa powder (I used dark here for some reason. Don’t. It’ll overpower the wine in color and taste)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp salt

Frosting
16 oz mascarpone cheese
2 1/3 cups powdered sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt

Directions

  1.  Preheat oven to 325°F. Grease and flour three 9″ cake pans. Cream the butter until smooth. 
  2. Add both sugars, beating until light and fluffy. Add eggs, mixing until combined.
  3. Now add your wine and vanilla. The alcohol will make the mixture look a bit curdled. No worries. It’ll come together when you add the dry ingredients.
  4. Sift the remaining (dry) ingredients straight into the wet. Only mix until it is 2/3 mixed. Then finish it up by hand, folding gently.
  5. Divide batter evenly among your pans. Bake for 25 minutes or until a tester comes out clean.
  6. Cool in pan for about 10 minutes. Then flip out onto a wire rack to cool completely.
  7. While baking/cooling, make the frosting. Beat together the ingredients until the mixture becomes light and fluffy. This should take between one and two minutes. How easy is that?
  8. Now, assemble your cake. The frosting recipe only makes enough to fill between layers and to top the last one. If you want to cover the sides, you could double it. I think it looks pretty with exposed sides, though.
  9. Chill this cake in the fridge until you’re ready to serve it.

Recipe from The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook

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I’m gonna try to go live in the real world now so that I can gather up some new writing material for y’all. Also so that I can be a functional human. Mostly for your benefit, though.

Bake with love!

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12 comments

    1. I know, right?! When I flipped to the recipe in her cookbook, I had pretty much the exact same reaction. Thanks for stopping by!
      -k

  1. are you sure we are not related !!!~~smile ~~~such a fun posting ~~love all the eccentricities and tongue in cheek metaphors ~~Fleurdelies ~~how ever one actually does spell all of that ~~well I got the pun on whatever your heart desires immediately ~~L.A. CONFIDENTIAL ~~ good job!!!!~~FALLEN ~~ i do think they made a movie with Densel Washington out of that one as well ~~good movie and they usually say the books are better ~~will have to give that one a go~~I guess great minds of sorts do run in similar directions as i just posted a deep dark chocolaty cake recipe complete with espresso and balsamic vinegar to take it over the top for Valentines day ~~anything to get noticed HMMMM ~~smile and have done a great photo opp with the Red Velvet cake on my smoker ~~:))))~~see you are not the only one who roles a bit over the top ~~but the red wine ~~great idea ~~have heard of the beets but never this ~~cool ~~will have to give it a try and FYI ~~if this is your stab at writers block well then i would be intensely curious as to your road less traveled mindset ~~you are such fun!!!!great post

    1. Your dark chocolate cake recipe sounds amazing! Glad you enjoyed the post, and thanks so much for stopping by!
      -k

  2. Haha it’s like we share a brain for today, blogger’s block is the living worst and I’ve been battling it all weekend. It’s especially irritating when you have a good recipe and nothing to say about it! I mean, winecake sounds so delicious.
    And yet, I am excited to hear about red jeans? Reminds me that I need some, too? So this post was still useful no matter what, yay!

    1. I will keep your response to the red jeans revelation in mind next time I can’t think of what to write (def get some. They’re awesome!). 🙂
      Good luck with your blogger’s block!
      -k

    1. Right?! It’s pretty much everything good put into one moist, delicious cake. Hope you enjoy as much as I did!
      -k

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